#11 Realize the Cons of Age Appropriate Relationships

Men like young things.

The thing is, I didn’t think this would be an issue until we were older. I didn’t think men started dating down until we were middle age, until they had bought their ‘penis cars’ and gotten rid of their starter wives. When I’m in my 40s, 50s, that’s when I thought I’d see men toting out their arm candy and I’d be trying to make conversation with girls half my age.

I didn’t think I’d have to deal with the competition when I was 24.

Listen, I understand the attraction. I know there’s deep seeded anthropological sociological desire to be with a woman who’s younger and… more at the top of her baby-making game. There’s the obvious maturity leveler. A man dates a woman half his age in order to feel younger. Or feel like it’s acceptable to act more immature.

But at 25, how much younger can you go? I thought we were the target second wife demographic. I thought I WAS the younger woman. I wasn’t expecting to be disregarded as too old already.

Recently, I found out my ex-boyfriend is dating–oops, sorry, engaged to–a college senior. The age difference really isn’t that great; it’s only a few years. But they started dating when she was a junior. He had already been out of college for a year. It’s not the age difference–it’s the different stages of life. Your worldview as a college student is completely different than the one you hold as a working person. What you think is important, what you’re expecting for the future, what you’re basing your decisions on.

It gets worse. Anne ex-boyfriend, who is 23, is dating an 18 year old. A college freshman. In fact, he met this fair lady when she was a mere 17 years old. Feelings blossomed. Her father told him he couldn’t talk to her until she went to college. What could they possibly have in common? More importantly, why would this young girl, who’s just starting out her college experience, want to shackle herself into a relationship with an older guy–a long distance relationship too.

I’ve seen the other side of this, too. I have a 23 year old friend currently dating a 30 year old man. Sometimes they’ll talk about how he was several years past college graduation when she went to prom or how she was still in elementary school when he graduated high school. It’s weird. Aren’t there any nice single 28 year olds he can date? I feel bad for single women in their late 20s [which I will soon be becoming]. It’s like a whole slice of life when the men you want to be dating are seeing girls who’ve recently thrown a graduation party. However, go much older, and you’re risking all sorts of complications with men in their late 30s–dads, men still living in their mom’s basement, impending midlife crisis.

To be honest, though, I’m not sure I want a 25 year old guy. I feel that single boys at this age are still working out so many residual issues from college [and those that aren’t have already kneeled down and gotten out that ring]. They have a difficult time transitioning from the party scene and hook up culture into real relationships. They’re bouncing around from job to job with the sudden responsibility of putting their degree into action. They migrate college culture into after work social life with their coworkers.

So maybe this all actually works out for the good of everyone. Women date up and men date down, and we’re all equally satisfied. Our exs can have their college girlfriends if we can have our stable career men. And women in their late 20s can have everyone’s wishes of best luck.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Stephanie
    Dec 19, 2010 @ 02:16:00

    I’m not quite sure what “age appropriate” really means anymore. There’s always the “divide your age and add 7 thing” that people do, but it means that someone who’s 40 can date someone who’s only 27, and that’s still a huge difference. I definitely agree that starting to date when the two people are in two different life mentalities is a bad idea, I’ve never seen it go well.

    Good luck to you women in your late 20s. I’m sure that there are men in their early 30s still looking for somebody! Perhaps the sane ones are a bit harder to find?

    Reply

    • Judy Rocket
      Dec 29, 2010 @ 15:25:11

      It’s definitely less of a number, more of a life stage issue, which is why an age gap is less important as you get older.

      Hugh Hefner definitely isn’t following the half +7 thing. The 84 year old Playboy tycoon just got engaged to his 24 year old girlfriend. Talk about age INappropriate, on so many levels.

      Reply

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